I hate Old People

I've never liked old people. Maybe it was because I never knew any of my grandparents or the fact that I worked in a Pharmacy for 3 years, but everytime I see one of them I just want to tell them shut the fuck up. They're always cold, and they pretend like they've never seen technology before. Come on, you old fuck, you know what a computer is! They had them back in the 40s or some shit. Yes Grandpa, it's a cell phone, use it to call your granddaughter so you can talk to her and forget her name again. I mean I guess it's funny to laugh at them, but seriously, have you seen their faces when they're confronted with any kind of tech problem?!

I especially love when they get offended by cursing or nudity. I want to be like "For Fuck Sake! You fought in World War II!!! You exploded Nazi skulls all up and down French streets, yet it bothers you when some dude in a skin tight unitard says he wants to shave a goat's balls??!?!?!" And no, I don't have to respect you just because you're old. If you were dumb when you were 20, you're dumb when you're 80.

Shit, when I'm old, I know exactly how I'm going to go out of that problem. If I ever utter "I'm cold" when I'm wearing Bermuda shorts in weather over 70 degrees, or I can't work a touch tone phone, I'll have my family send me to the coast. There I will construct a raft with metal or wood, which ever I find first. I will take along my iPod (I'll be old, so it's the only thing I can listen to, fucker), a shotgun, a rod and 3 gallons of drinking water. I will then head out into the ocean to live the rest of my life. I will shoot fish with the shotgun, pull them in with my rod. I'll live like this until I have a heart attack or get eaten. Period. No bothering people with stupid fucking questions about the internet or telling shitty stories about the "good old days". I'm sorry everyone, but I just get worked up over stupidity. And adult diapers.