I don't believe in God but I still have to get people presents. It's a tricky situation, because I don't want to be an asshole and not get a gift for my family or close friends, but on the flip side I'm so goddamn lazy when it comes to the Holidays. I have no gift creativity.
My family isn't into X-mas for the magic of Jesus' birth, it's just an excuse for my Mom to buy more artificial trees to hang ornaments and lights. It's her thing, so we don't say anything, just like it's my thing to find creative places to masturbate. Either way I'm fucked because the only gifts I've bought my father are a pair of Cincinnati Bengals gloves...really screams "I love you", right? My mother and sister refuse to let me know what they want as well, so I'm forced to play Russian Rulet; should I pick the kitten picture frame or the 2 in 1 toaster/sandwhich press???? Fuck, I have no idea. So you see, being an Atheist at X-mas with a family who could care less doesn't help. So I'll bring my battle axe and fight my way through a sea of 400lb zombies at the local outdoor mall. I'm getting stressed out about buying gifts, how lame is that?!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment